LADIES THINK OF THIS

You want to have sex with a man, he does not have a condom. He tell you to swallow the E-Pill, you agree. He also tells you to be using contraceptives, you agree. He tells you to be injected with the 3 months contraceptive, you agree. Somehow you get pregnant, he tells you to abort, you agree.

Tips to make a woman love you more

If you have been struggling to make her love you, today is your lucky day. We have done the research for you.  Now its you job to win her heart. Here is the leakage:

1. Kiss her hands, forehead and nose regularly - nimesema hands sio lips!! Unless ni zile lips zengine...hio inakubalika.

Insecurity looms Kenya

As you remember what happened to Westgate, Lamu, Mpeketoni and Garissa, the same tragedy has hit the Yumbis. 

This one is so sad about the #GarissaAttack

You can't imagine you sister calling and saying "Dad! Dad! Am the next, these people are cutting off our heads,  wengine wamechinjwa.  Good bye.

Egerton Campus Life Facebook group hits 40K+ Members | A brief history

As we commemorate this milestone, we would like give special thanks to Frank Quest and James Last , G7 family, class of 05, 06, 07, 08, 09 who are the pioneers of EGERTON CAMPUS LIFE. 

THE RETURN OF BEVERLYN(BUSTED 3) PART II

The deafening university' ambulance siren pierced through my ears.

I sat in the rear compartment of the ambulance staring Joy's body as the two nurses gave her a precautionery first aid.
The speed and swinging of the ambulance made her body to shake with intense.
Her face still glowed with passion.

I bit my lower lip and swallowed bitterly.
I wondered why Beverlyn had to do such demonic act to a peaceful and kind woman like Joy.

I glanced at the wrist band on her left hand and memories of first day of the semester trickled down my minds. Moulds of tears formed in my eyes. I wished i were the one who had been stubbed instead.

I remember vividly it was on a Monday when i arrived back to Egerton from home.

Joy was already there earlier that day.
Throughout the journey she textd informing me how the two weeks break was long and boring..
She wanted me madily. I had missed her too.

Her words communicated and expressed her in undying love towards me.
She constantly made me to fall in love from time to time,again and again whenever we chatted.

After 8hours of drive, i arrived in school at around 6pm.
Like aperson who knew i had just arrived she called and with a lovly voice she poised,

"Hey swthrt, you mean you are not yet?"
"Here i am babycake,just about to take a taxi to school." i softly answered smiling all along.
"Wow! U mean...ah..u mean you are around? Ooh my boo, i cant wait to see you swthrt,Marish 49." she happily said as she disconected the call.

All i could do was smile and shook my head.

Joy was a real woman who knew how to love and make a man go nuts.
Withing no time, i was infront of her room.
I knocked softly at door and stabilized myself for i knew she would jump over me. Hehe.

The room was silent and no response came from inside.
I pushed the door open and crept inside.
I was welcomed by the sweet aroma of fried rice and chicken.
My mouth was full of saliva and my taste buds were leaky !
Joy had already known rice was my favourite meal.

I shut the door and quickly sunk into my suitcase, i took out a lovly red tedybear, wrapped it in her pink sleeping dress and hid it in her suitcase below the bed.
I then sat back waiting for her to come as i fed on the sweet aroma! Joy was the best cook definately.

After a short moment, the door opened suddenly and behold there she was!
Her head covered in a black stockings, a towel wrapped around her angelic figured body and fell just above her knees.
Her body was dripping wet with water. She was coming from the shower.

"Ooh,oh, oh, sweet intruder in my room," she joked as her lips drew a crazining smile that created the two lovly dimples on her cheecks.

"Look at you, loved one, when did you become a stripper?" i joked as i moved towards her.

With her left hand holding the towel against her body near the armpit she smiled and said,
" Highly corrosive dont touch,"
in one fold, we bursted into laughter!
Soon, Joy was in my arms, she tightly hugged against my body with her wet body.

The smell of her skin made goose bumps to erect all over my body.

"Bebie? Food or your woman first?" she asked softly.
"Ah, ah, i think.." before i could answer she interrupted me,
"Am going to give you choices and plz choose one, hehe,
A.(Your woman)
B. (A)"
I just bursted into laughter as i detached from her.

For sure Joy was a realy fun.
And guess what?

To be continued in part III

Hilarious! Egerton student writes a Players plot

Nothing is much enjoyable and entertaining than ECL when you are Damn bored. You meet all kinds of people; trollers,  bloggers,  jokers,  attention seekers,  reporters, authors. .. and so on.

So today while flipping through the group, I came across this article.  Its hilarious depending on your personality.  All those Shit that rotate in a relationship. Everybody is a player, maybe but most all of you.

So here is the middle finger boner for you:

Official opening dates for 2015/16 academic year

BOSS anamwambia sekretari wake: Wiki hii tutaenda wote Serena Hotel kwenye mkutano fanya mipango yote.

SEKRETARI (anamuaga mumewe):
Tunaenda na bosi Serena hotel kwenye mkutano for 1 week.

MUME (anampigia mpango wa kando):
Mambo safi, wife anaenda kikazi Serena, jitayarishe tujipe raha for 1 week
(Mpango wa kando) anamwambia mwanafunzi wake wa tution:
wiki hii nina kazi fulani hakuna tution mpaka week ijayo.

MWANAFUNZI anampigia simu sugar daddy wake ambaye ndo (BOSS):
Dear hakuna tution wiki hii nakuja kwako.....

BOSS anamwambia sekretari wake:
Siendi Serena tena coz mjukuu wangu atanitembelea.

SEKRETARI: Mume wangu hatuendi Serena

MUME (anampigia Mpango):
dah! mpenzi, huyu fala haendi tena. Shit! So hadi next time plz

Mpango wa kando a.k.a teacher (anampigia mwanafunzi):
Darasa kama kawaida sorry for the earlier message.

MWANAFUNZI: darling tution
inaendelea kumbe, so nakuja wiki ijayo!!

BOSS: Sekretari sorry jitayarishe ile safari ya serena iko palepale......

Utawasaidiaje watu Hawa??

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